Just Breathe: Difficult People

Another winter solstice is upon us.  Many people and cultures mark this time as a period of reflection and celebration.  We call it joyous and festive, but sometimes there's not a lot of joy and festivity in the air.

Everyone has difficult people in life. Throw a mix of personalities together and there are bound to be clashes.  People don't share the same values, or understanding of appropriate behaviours.  Some people are simply clueless, stuck in bigotry and racism.  Others are deliberately provocative.  Some days, it's a mad world.

You don't have difficult people in your life?  Good for you.  Now, go look in the mirror.  That face staring back at you is some one's difficult person.

When we're faced with things beyond our control-the long lines at stores, rudeness (never ours, of course)-the simplest thing to do is breathe.  Stand in tadasana, take a deep breath and stay present.  Put aside that list of what needs to be done and focus on what is happening right now, with you. 

When you're on the edge of a disagreement, stop, breathe in tadasana and then speak the truth. 

Being mindful and considerate does not mean ignoring truly bad behaviour.  In one of my favourite sections in Sylvia Fraser's book, The Rope in the Water,  Fraser wonders what she should have done when faced with her driver's sexual advances.  Her advisor recommends smacking the aggressor over the head with an umbrella, with all the loving kindness you can manage.  I love that passage.  I may not have ever whacked someone with an umbrella, but on several occasions, I've fantasized about it.

Before you go bashing about with weapons, try using your breath to help you.  It's always with you, it's much lighter than an umbrella and in most cases, breathing does no one any harm, unless, of course, you've been chewing on garlic bulbs.

Enjoy the moment.  And if I see you in a check out line holding an umbrella (around here, it's more likely to be a hockey stick), I promise to behave.

Namaste.

These stockings were a holiday commission.

Finding Balance

I love to walk.  Nothing calms me more than a long tromp.  Walking just to walk clears my head and has guided me through more than one emotional wrestling match.  I love to feel wind, rain, snow, sun against my skin.  I walk briskly, sure of myself, my footing.

Right now, it pays to proceed more mindfully.  I can be tearing along on dry pavement when the ground shifts from bare concrete to this:

Suddenly, dry land vanishes in a pack of ice and I move from grounded confidence to picking my way, one foot in front of the other.

In Tadasana/Mountain Pose, you ground your body, both feet planted firmly, toes spread widely, bringing strength and energy up the legs along the spine to the crown of your head.  You stand, lower body solid, upper body held lightly, lifting to the sky.  In Tadasana, you find balance and then you practise balancing, at first just standing to find stillness, then by carefully placing one foot in front of the other, seeking to remain balanced in the shift.  In a few moments, you move that forward foot behind and seek balance again.  The more you practise, the more you improve balance and focus.

I stand in Tadasana while spindle spinning and I slow my pace.  I roll my spindle along my thigh gently and release it quietly, so that energy is directed into the yarn, rather than into correcting the wobble sometimes caused by too aggressive a spin.  I spin cross-legged on the floor; I am grounded.  I sit in a firm chair at the wheel and my spine lifts, bringing energy into the body up into the crown of my head.  I am uplifted.

My spindle challenge progresses, although I'm having a tough time resisting the call of my other lonely spindles, especially this one:

It's a Bosworth Moosie, complete with a pink-tinged mouse nibble and a bloodwood shaft bought in a destash from a friend, along with another laceweight Bossie which needed a new home.  It's difficult to get a good photograph-the light bounces off the antler whorl.  Trust me, it's a beauty.